What We Bury to Survive—and Must Unearth to Truly Live

Day 5 of 7 – Meeting the Wound

Yesterday, I shared a practice about speaking to someone else—saying what we’ve carried, maybe for years.
Today’s practice turns inward.

This one comes from The Wounded Healer, the book I wrote about the quiet ache so many of us carry.
Not the pain from others.
The pain we carry within ourselves.

The part that says:
You should have known better.
You’re too much.
You’re not enough.
You’re too broken to be loved the way you want to be.

I wrote that book not as a teacher, but as someone trying to survive his own self-judgment.

It was born from sitting with people who were hurting—again and again—and realizing I wasn’t actually helping them by fixing or analyzing or offering advice.
I helped when I let myself feel what they were feeling.
When I stopped standing above their pain and started standing with it.

That’s what this practice is about.
Standing with yourself.

And here’s the thread I didn’t expect back then:
It’s the same practice Cool It! is built on.
Before we can meet another person in a hard moment, we have to recognize what we’re bringing to the table:
The story.
The fear.
The unspoken grief.
The shame that creeps in when things get tender.

Every card in Cool It! is really an invitation to look inward before speaking outward.
To slow down.
To meet ourselves with kindness so we can meet someone else with care.

Today’s gift is a private, AI-guided practice based on a core exercise from The Wounded Healer:

What part of you feels the most tender right now—and what would it say if you actually listened?

You’ll be guided to name the pain, speak from it, and meet it with a voice of compassion. Not to fix it. Just to stay.

Try the practice here:

Take your time. There’s no goal—just a chance to be honest with yourself, maybe in a way you haven’t before.

Tomorrow, I come back with a big announcement:
Something that has been requested of me for years—an online course.
I’ll share how it came to life and the opportunity that AI provides in this new world of personal development.

With gentleness,
Andy

See the Cool It! TV Commercial

Signup for the Cool It! pre-launch